Ain’t my fault, your mother traumatized you!


“Hun guess what I found at the seafood market today? I found sprat! You want some?”
“No!!!!!!!! That’s bait! What’s up with you and this sprat and mackerel and sardines? I don’t wanna see that.” he screamed.
“Yu lucky!” was my reply.
“That’s what I ate when I was poor,” he continued.
“So you don’t want to be reminded of your poor childhood? Yu rich now?” I asked.
“No, I don’t wanna remember my childhood. That was when I was a nobody. I’m somebody now.”
That was too funny to me. You should have seen the look on his face and his mannerism when he said that. That’s when I bust out laughing cause this man says the “darndest” things to make me laugh.

“I don’t wanna see no sprat, mackerel or sardines.” he said.
“Yu mother traumatize yu when yu was young, don’t it? Sardine and mackerel a protein!” I mocked.
I tell him that all the time. The jokes we share with each other, most people would be so mad about, they probably start fighting. We laugh all day every day. Well most of the times we do. Like that time, he called me when I was away in California and said, “Angie my credit card statement came and the balance is $2.02.”
With a mocked attitude, I was like, “So what are you trying to say.”
I know he was implying that had I been there next to his card, his balance would have been through the roof, but instead, his comedian response was, “I’m not tryna say nothing. I’m just saying my balance is $2.02.”
I bust out laughing again, cause he always tells me that I have something against money. He’s diagnosed me and has reason to believe that it’s either I hate money or I love it too much. He claims that regardless of how much money I have, I will think of a way to spend it until it’s all gone.
Like, “OMG tomatoes are on sale, let’s get 50 pounds!”
I beg to differ. In “my” reality, I buy the things “we” need.

Well both him and my ex has a lot to say about my spending habits. They are friends who call each other from time to time. Yeah, I got magic like that. Well we both got magic or we are too darn matured for ourselves.
Here’s and example of both of my men conversation:
Ex: “Mi know Denise (that’s me) with you right now and mi glad. Denise a good woman but mi know yu money supposed to done right now.”
When he relayed the details of the conversation to me, I had to bust out laughing again. I swear LOL was made for me. They didn’t have to do me that bad. They gotta love me to put up with me and that speaks volume.

Sprat usually pairs well with bammy (cassava cake) or breadfruit. My cousin Carol gifted me this bammy and I couldn’t wait to express my creativity and extend my love by devouring this platter. I’ve been traumatized by chemicals and preservatives but not from fried fish and bammy.

Well I guess all this good food, makes up for the my spending. And all the laughter, love and joy makes up for the sprat and sardines that his mother so traumatized him with. At the end of the day, smile a while and give your face a rest.

Isn’t laughter the best medicine?

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